kcohscirtcele

kcohscirtcele

eltohthsirasetharcos_altha

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SACRIFICE

[Jul. 7th, 2006|09:39 pm]

[	Tags	\|	the blah	]
[	Current Location	\|	manila	]
[	mood	\|	blah blah	]
[	music	\|	bad day	]

_^?SACRIFICE?

_{^{Have you ever noticed how sad the word SACRIFICE means? well i have always noticed. In love we would always find someone we want to be with all day long and if possible for the rest of our lives. But these things surely and absolutely end. The saddest part would be when you never wanted to let go but you took the courage to step forward and stop the fucking longing you feel because youre making his life hard for him and also for you. It's sad that you have to break a promise thats supposed to be forever. But dont you think if youre meant to be forever with him it had been long ago that you planned of being together for a start of that freaking forever-word? I never wanted to let go. It is also sad that you have to do and say something you never wanted to, specially words of cursing. But you suddenly realize that it is the only way to make him leave you. Be bad. have a superfluous image that would lead him away from you because it is going to make everything easier for him. You would not want to keep the chains tight on his neck and bother him with your tantrums every now and then. Sacrifice is indeed the saddest word I have ever heard. Untill now I wonder why I still do not understand why we would always sacrifice those that we love? Is it for their sake or for your own? If we ask God a favor we sometimes forfeit our own wishes, whims, our own happiness.why is it that? why does it have to be him? Then I came up to a conclusion. The reason why we would sacrifice the person we love the most is because when we ask God for a favor of something great, the first thing we get to remember is that great person, who comes to our mind everytime we think of something great and sublime as a good form of sacrifice. That is why we give up another great thing. the sad part is that he is the GREAT thing.}}
_{^{The person that we think of every moment, evey minute, every second, everywaking day and even before we sleep, I thought it was corny. I thought it was a cliche, but it is not. its just the way its supposed to be.No matter what happens, may that person or God forgive me or not for leaving the opportunity to be happy like what we have always wanted to be, I know it would end up better. it's been six years of sorrow and the tears had never been dry. it has never stopped from falling. One thing I know is that I will never forget the person ten years from now, and more. I just hope that when I get up from this debilitated state I am in right now, I still wish to cross paths with him. Enough of the many tears I have wasted all these years. For all I know, I deserve to be happy, better yet, happier more than anyone. Why? I have always been faithful from the very start he told me his name. Stupid? yeah right. so what. I want to be a moron if thats what it takes to have him with me. This is the saddest part of my life. the greatest loss. the greatest anger. the greatest fear that I have conquered. The fear of losing him. I feel so down and stupid. It is more difficult than my math subjects. One problem that has no solution. I want to take it back, but I know I cant. I wont. Because he needs it. he needs time. he acted like he didnt know me. he believed that i was bad. that's the most painful thing there. To end it all. I told him, I was evil. The truth? I never had had the feeling of anger nor anything negative for/about him. I dont see the flaws. If there is such. I dont want to. For those reading my blog, tell me, is this human? I think its not.I need someone strong mentally, emotionally and spiritually. the one who can fight for me no matter what. Where I am going after this night, or what I have left inside me, only God knows. I just need to forget. Live and lead a good life for myself so I can see my parents' smile. It's sad. so sad. I wonder when it will end.}}

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